Fat Man's Misery

Calvin, Nick and I ventured down Fat Man’s Misery on Saturday July 14th, 2012. This was their 2nd technical canyon descent. Their first canyoneering experience was in Keyhole Canyon the previous evening.

Check out the video of our adventure HERE

Saturday morning we were greeted with a serious rainstorm. We slept in and casually ate breakfast knowing that our chances of canyoneering were fading with every passing minute.

Optimistically, we headed to Zion in hopes that the weather would clear up. We were intently watching the satellite imagery of the storm on the way. It was looking more promising by the minute as the bulk of the storm headed north.

Just as we reached the trailhead the cloud cover lifted and the sun started shining. We started down the trail at 11:20 AM. The temperature was a refreshing 65 degrees. We were greeted with the chorus of hundreds of happy frogs enjoying the fresh rainwater as we headed quickly toward the canyon.

After a couple of hours of speedy hiking we arrived at the first rappel. The canyon was full of water due to the storm the night before. Not noticing that the first rappel was bolted, I started digging around at the front edge of a pothole looking for a chokestone to rappel from. While doing this I pulled a large stone loose at the front of the pothole creating a bathtub-like drain. Perhaps a couple hundred gallons of water started flowing down the canyon. This created a nice little waterfall for us to rappel down. Sweet!

The rest of the canyon was fantastic! It was full to the brim with fresh-ish water from the night before. There are many, many problems to solve in the technical section. It took much longer than we anticipated. Many of the downclimbs would be simple when dry and require some care to negotiate when wet.

Eventually we arrived at Parunuweap and headed up the exit at 7:30 PM. It was cool and humid while the sun was setting, maybe 75 degrees at the warmest. A heavy cloud cover loomed overhead and only sprinkled on us occasionally.

We arrived at the Checkboard Mesa exit just as it got dark. We busted out some headlamps and kept hiking. We arrived back at the car at 10:40 PM. 11 hours, 20 minutes. Whew.

Just a couple of thoughts about the Fat Man:

We were very lucky that the weather was so cool. That hike would have been horrible; nay miserable, if it were hot. Seriously, if Misery is on your checklist, save it for a cool day.

We were somewhat lucky it didn’t rain while we were in the slot. We did make an informed decision with great satellite images of the passing storm system minutes before we started hiking. It was a calculated risk that I’m glad we took.

If you are heading to Misery for your first time, don’t kid yourself into thinking you can hike it in 8 or 9 hours (like some beta says, no disrespect). Like I said, there are lots of problems in there to solve. We were moving as fast as we could and it took us 11 hours. Now that we know how to conquer all of the obstacles, yes we could complete it in less than 9 hours.

Finally, it seems that people don’t talk much about how great that slot there really is. Everyone seems focused on bitching about the exit hike. So, for the sake of emphasis, the slot in Fat Man’s is amazing!! The grotto at the end of the slot is jaw-dropping and eye-popping.  So, get out and do it if you have 11 hours to spare on a cool day.

 One of many high-fives given during this day.

This is the view from the top of the overhanging rappel. Intimidating? 

For Calvin and Nick, it sure was. It was their first 35 foot rappel.

We lived! Not so scary from the bottom.

With a branch in my right hand I'm sliding wood chips and foam across the surface of a pothole.

An arch in the grotto. Amazing!

The second, larger arch in the grotto.

Boss Hog

On June 26th, 2012 Tony and I descended Boss Hog Canyon.

We headed out early when temperature was around 80 degrees. The canyon was cool and welcoming. The scenery was fantastic, the canyon looked like a giant block of chocolate that had been broken in half. There were some very odd and challenging downclimbs that we thoroughly enjoyed.

We found Boss Hog in very pristine condition; no webbing (except at the last drop), no garbage. We committed to leaving it that way from the start. We ended up ghosting 3 of the drops, yes they can be downclimbed by the very skilled but we don't recommend it. The penalty points are high.

At the mandatory rappel we found a large boulder with a sling around it. We high stemmed over to the boulder and put on our harnesses some 30 feet off the deck. Tony hooked up the rope and I elevatored down below the boulder to make sure we had enough rope. (It looks a LOT higher than it really is.) We both rappelled to the canyon floor and started pulling the rope through a very large existing groove that I had not seen (I actually did not stand on the boulder and have a look). This made for a tough rope pull and is the beginning of an ugly scar on a very clean canyon.

If you are part of a future group please consider extending the anchor down the chute below the boulder. You will need an extra 25-30 feet of webbing to do so. It will make your pull a lot easier and keep the canyon looking nice.

Anyway, we headed through the rest of the canyon and down an amazing 35 foot chimney. Then came the hard part...

It was 2 PM and the sun was blazing. We quickly found the exit and were dismayed by the angle of the sun. It was shining directly into the exit reflecting off both of the canyon walls. We considered finding some shade until the sun moved across the sky a little. But no, impatient, we just went for it. It was horribly hot- I'd guess between 120 and 130 degrees heading up the exit. We had no shade on the entire route. It took about 90 minutes to reach the top of the canyon. We had survived. It was 100 degrees at the top.

Was Boss Hog awesome? Heck yes! Would I do it in June ever again? Heck no!

Our simple retrievable anchor.

West Leprechaun

Tony and I descended West Lep on June 25th, 2012. It is nearly as good as it's neighbors, and enjoyable even in the summer heat. It was 87 degrees when we left the car and 102 when we returned.

We made one mistake on the first rappel- we should have extended the anchor to prevent rope grooves. Once we got to the bottom we verrry gingerly whipped the rope while pulling it to prevent one. If you visit this canyon in the near future please consider extending the anchor through the mini-potholes. Also, it will make your pull a lot easier.

A really creepy thing happened to us on our descent. We climbed under the rockfall and into Belfast Boulevard and were enjoying to cool air and the tremendous view above. As our eyes adjusted to the darkness we noticed a few daddy long legs scurrying onto the walls above. Tony mentioned that there were about 30 on the wall above him and many more down canyon. I unzipped my pack and removed a flashlight. I turned on the flashlight to find a cluster about 75 of the buggers about a foot from my face! I looked down canyon and saw three more very large clusters about head high.

I frantically turned off the light and went for my backpack. Just then the zipper busted spilling some of my stuff on the pitch black ground below. Frantically, I stuffed my cargo shorts with stuff and hauled my busted pack out of the slot while avoiding a facefull of spiders. Sheesh, it was a little too Indiana Jones-ish in there for me.

The photos below will tell the rest of the story. Enjoy.

Chambers

On June 24th, 2012 Tony and I ventured through Chambers Canyon.

We left for Hanksville from Salt Lake about 8 AM. We drove straight to the trailhead, had some lunch and started hiking around 2 PM. It was 100 degrees when we left the car. This was a bad idea, we knew it, and we did it anyway. I took 3 liters of water, Tony took 4.

We meandered down the scorching sandstone to the mouth of the canyon and discovered that Tony was missing his knee and elbow pads. His pack had somehow come unzipped and dumped out part of his stuff on the way down.

Like any friend would do, I threw on my armor and dropped into the cool shade of the canyon and relaxed. It was about 80 degrees in there. It took Tony 45 minutes to find his pads and return. Finally the canyon was underway!

Chambers is an awesome canyon, extremely physical and dauntingly skinny. Overall, it was just a bit more difficult that Middle Leprechaun Canyon. The canyon is just a little too narrow to make stemming easy.

The crux of the canyon is crazy. It looks just like the rest of the canyon until you try to squeeze through. And you cant. Then you try to climb up. And you cant. We were tired and dehydrated by the time we arrived at the crux so it was pretty intimidating. Tony is a good climber (5.11) and he had to fight like hell to get to the top. It took him about 5 minutes to get up 20 feet. He pulled our packs up and I eventually made it to the top of the crux as well. Whew.

Soon we arrived at the subway/cavern section, and it was spectacular! The photos below will tell that part of the story.

We soon arrived at the end, victorious! We were all smiles while we relaxed in the shade. Chambers is truly a classic. We had an outstanding experience.

The hike out was a miserable, hellish experience. It was 8 PM and 92 degrees when we arrived back at the car. I consumed 3 liters of water during the hike, then drank an additional 3 liters of water before my kidneys started working again. Very seriously, I should have packed 6 liters of water for this hike, but that would have been a large and heavy load to haul through such a skinny canyon. Don't be foolish (like us) and attempt this canyon during the summer.  You simply can't transport enough water to stay hydrated for the entire hike.

Yankee Doodle

Stephanie, Tyler, Aralynn and I headed down the mighty Yankee Doodle on May 28th, 2012.

For the entry rappel, we chose the 100 foot freehanging option.

We carried a 50ft rope the rest of the way, but never got it out. There are a couple of interesting downclimbs, but nothing too serious. Yankee Doodle is nice, but really short. It was over before we were even warmed up.

Oh yeah, that canyon is very popular. We met at least a dozen people along the route.

Thanks to Jack from Zion Rock & Mountain Guides for letting us play through. If we had known the canyon was THAT short we would not have asked.

Mystery Canyon

Stephanie, Tyler, Aralynn and I visited Mystery Canyon on May 26th, 2012.

We were not lucky enough to have the weather cooperating with our canyoneering schedule on Saturday. It was very windy and cold on the way up to Observation Point. There were moments when we literally had to take a knee along the trail so we would not be blown off the mountain.

After dropping in, the canyon walls blocked most of the wind. Later the sun came out and we had an excellent afternoon.

The Narrows were pretty chilly once we got there. There were no tourists to see Tyler's incredible moonwalk down the moss at the last rappel. Surprisingly, none of us slipped on the mossy waterfall.